Discovering the "Parentified Daughter" Within Me

 During my recent trip to Sagada from January 3-5, 2025, I had the privilege of meeting an amazing psychologist who shared an insightful perspective on my life. What started as a casual encounter turned into an impromptu consultation that left a profound impact on me. She recommended that I look up the term "parentified daughter," suggesting that it might resonate deeply with my experiences.

As I delved into the concept, it was like holding a mirror to my life. Growing up as the eldest child, I never truly experienced what it meant to be a teenager. My childhood was overshadowed by responsibilities that were beyond my years. My father worked abroad, and my mother was busy with her own career, leaving me to take on the role of a caretaker for my younger siblings from an early age.

Even as an elementary school student, I was tasked with ensuring my siblings returned home on time, completed their chores, and avoided conflict. It was a lot for a child to handle, but I didn’t question it—it was simply what was expected of me. My mother often reminded me to set a good example for my siblings because they were watching my every move. She would tell me that if I failed, whether in my studies or other aspects of life, it might set a precedent for my siblings to follow.

This instilled a deep fear of making mistakes. I carried the weight of being the “perfect” older sister, always striving to be a role model. This fear often manifested as self-repression. I am an introvert, spending most of my time at home. My social circle was limited to one or two close friends, and I rarely attended parties or social events. Even when invited, my inner voice would rationalize that there was no need to go since we already had food at home.

Looking back, I realize how much I’ve missed out on—moments of carefree joy, exploration, and simply being a teenager. My sense of responsibility, though commendable, came at the cost of my own personal growth and freedom.

After graduation, when I found a job in the city, I took care of my own expenses. When my siblings went to college, we rented a home where they resided with me. My parents provided their tuition fees and allowances, while I paid for the rest of the house expenses.

Aside from my 8-5 job, I often worked overtime and took on side hustles to afford the house expenses. When my brother graduated from college and secured a job, he took over providing our younger brother's allowance. My mother continued to pay the tuition fees, and I still covered the remaining household expenses.

Learning about the concept of a "parentified daughter" has been both enlightening and validating. It has helped me understand that my experiences are not unique but shared by many eldest daughters who find themselves in similar situations. This realization is the first step towards acknowledging the impact it has had on my life and, hopefully, finding ways to heal and reclaim parts of myself that I’ve suppressed for so long.

Meeting that psychologist in Sagada felt serendipitous. Her simple suggestion has opened a door to self-discovery, allowing me to confront and make sense of my past. If you’ve ever felt the burden of being an “unofficial parent” to your siblings, I encourage you to explore this concept as well. It might just bring you the clarity and peace you didn’t know you needed.

Sagada Healing Journey 2025

 My Healing Journey in Sagada 

Last January 3-5, I embarked on a Sagada tour that had been on my bucket list for quite some time. Originally, I planned to go last year, but life got in the way. My friends were unavailable, and when I finally decided to join a group, my schedule became too hectic. This year, I resolved to make it happen and booked a trip through a travel agent organizing tours in Sagada. It turned out to be more than just a vacation—it became a journey of healing.

A Time for Reflection

As my 50th birthday approaches, I’ve been overwhelmed with emotions. Menopause, hormonal imbalance, and the weight of expectations from others have taken a toll on me. I’ve invited close friends to celebrate my milestone birthday, only to face a string of declines due to prior commitments. While I understand their reasons, it hurt deeply. It felt as though no one cared enough to adjust their plans for me. Coupled with other lingering personal challenges, this left me feeling sad and isolated.

Turning 50 has brought on feelings I never expected. Things that didn’t bother me before now weigh heavily on my mind. Despite being an introvert who once thrived on solitude, I’ve begun longing for deeper human connection. My family and friends are busy with their own lives, leaving me feeling alone with no one to turn to when I need someone to simply listen or be there.

New Connections

The Sagada trip offered me a chance to meet new people and form unexpected connections. Among the group were two wonderful ladies: one working online and the other, a psychologist. Despite our age differences, we bonded over shared experiences. One of them even provided me with an impromptu therapy session, allowing me to express feelings I’d been bottling up for a long time.

I cried silently multiple times during the trip, releasing the pain and loneliness I’d been carrying. It was cathartic, a necessary step toward healing. For the first time in a while, I felt understood and supported, even by people I’d just met.

The Wonders of Sagada

Beyond the emotional healing, Sagada offered breathtaking experiences that reignited my sense of adventure and appreciation for nature. We explored the Lumiang and Sumaguing Caves through a connecting spelunking adventure. Navigating tight openings and challenging passages for 4.5 hours was both exhausting and exhilarating. The sense of accomplishment upon emerging from the caves was indescribable.

Another highlight was witnessing the sea of clouds at Marlboro Hills during an early morning trek. The view was nothing short of magical. We also trekked to the Blue Soil Mountain, where the rain-soaked trail proved challenging but rewarding. Although some of my trek mates slipped on the slippery slopes, the experience was unforgettable and humbling.

We also visited the famous hanging coffins, a sight that left me in awe. Our guide explained in detail the traditions behind this practice and how the coffins are carefully placed on the mountainside. Learning about the deep cultural significance of this tradition gave me a profound appreciation for the rich heritage of the local people.

A Journey Within

This trip to Sagada was more than just ticking off an item on my bucket list. It became a turning point in my life. I allowed myself to be vulnerable, to feel deeply, and to reconnect with parts of myself I had neglected. The beauty of Sagada—its caves, hills, and breathtaking landscapes—helped me find clarity and peace.

As I return home and prepare to celebrate my 50th birthday, I carry with me the lessons and memories from this journey. I’ve learned that healing takes time and that it’s okay to seek help and connection when needed. I’ve also discovered the importance of taking steps, no matter how small, toward reclaiming joy and purpose.

Sagada reminded me that I am not alone—not truly. Life’s journey is about embracing every moment, even the challenging ones, and finding beauty in the unexpected.

Mayon ATV Experience

 

Discovering Albay: My First Mayon ATV Adventure

Nestled in the heart of Bicol, the province of Albay is home to one of the Philippines' most iconic landmarks: the majestic Mayon Volcano. Known for its perfect cone shape and breathtaking views, Mayon has long been a bucket list destination for adventurers and nature lovers alike. Recently, I had the chance to visit Albay and embark on an unforgettable Mayon ATV adventure—an experience that combined adrenaline-pumping fun with awe-inspiring scenery.

Arrival and First Impressions

We arrived at the ATV base camp around 10 a.m., greeted by a blazing sun that seemed determined to make its presence known. Thankfully, I had packed my trusty windbreaker, which doubled as a shield against the scorching heat. My companions were equally prepared, donning their sweaters to keep the sun at bay. The atmosphere buzzed with excitement as other visitors geared up for their adventures.

Prepping for the Ride

Our first task was to choose an adventure package. The packages ranged from beginner-friendly trails to more challenging routes that promised spectacular views of Mayon Volcano. Once we made our selection, it was time to pick our helmets and ATVs. Each of us was assigned our own ATV, adding a thrilling personal touch to the experience.

Before hitting the trail, the friendly staff gave us a comprehensive briefing on the ATV’s functions and safety measures. They also arranged a test drive to assess our confidence and skills. For those who weren’t quite ready to drive solo, there was an option to ride as a passenger on a staff-operated ATV. Fortunately, I passed the test and was all set to conquer the trail on my own.

The Adventure Begins

As we set off, the rugged terrain immediately put our skills to the test. The trail wound through scenic landscapes, offering a mix of rocky paths, dirt roads, and grassy fields. Along the way, we encountered a small lake that reflected the blue sky and the lush greenery surrounding it. Of course, we couldn’t resist stopping for photos, with the magnificent Mayon Volcano serving as the perfect backdrop.

The experience was both exhilarating and humbling. The roar of the ATV engines was a stark contrast to the serene beauty of Mayon, reminding us of the delicate balance between adventure and nature. Despite the challenging trail, the joy of navigating it and the camaraderie among our group made it a truly unforgettable ride.

A Day to Remember

By the end of the adventure, we were dusty, sun-kissed, and brimming with stories to share. The Mayon ATV experience was not just a fun activity; it was a chance to connect with nature and appreciate the grandeur of one of the Philippines' natural wonders. If you’re planning a trip to Albay, I highly recommend adding this to your itinerary. Just remember to bring sun protection, a sense of adventure, and a camera to capture the memories.

This journey was a reminder that sometimes, the best way to explore is to embrace the thrill of the ride and let the beauty of the moment take your breath away.

Journey Through Time: My Visit to Paoay Church, Ilocos Norte

Hey there, It's me again. After more than four years of hiatus, I am now blogging again! 😆😆😆

Been travelling to places recently and wanted to document my experience through blogging :)

I recently had the incredible opportunity to explore the historical marvel that is Paoay Church in Ilocos Norte, Philippines, and let me tell you, it was an experience like no other. Today, I'm excited to take you on a virtual journey through this architectural gem and share my personal adventure.

Arrival at Paoay Church

As I approached the church, I couldn't help but be struck by the sheer grandeur of this centuries-old wonder. Paoay Church, also known as the St. Augustine Church, stands proudly amidst the lush landscapes of Ilocos Norte. Its massive coral stone walls immediately transported me to a different era, and I could feel the weight of history in the air.

A Walk Through History

The moment I stepped inside, I was enveloped by the aura of serenity and reverence. The soft, warm light filtering through the stained glass windows created a breathtaking atmosphere, making it clear why this church is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The fragrant scent of incense and the echoes of prayers offered over the centuries filled the air, making my visit a truly immersive experience.

Architectural Marvels

One thing you can't help but notice about Paoay Church is its stunning baroque architecture. The intricate details etched into the façade are a testament to the craftsmanship of the past. I found myself utterly captivated by the play of light and shadow on the coral stone walls, giving the church an ethereal quality.

The Interior Beauty

Inside, the church is just as awe-inspiring. The wooden beams supporting the ceiling are a true work of art, and the religious icons and altars are beautifully adorned with gold and intricate designs. It's impossible not to feel a deep sense of respect for the history and culture embedded in every nook and cranny of this sacred place.

Sunset Serenity

As the sun began to dip below the horizon, I made my way to the church's courtyard, where I was treated to a view that left me breathless. The golden hour cast a warm glow over Paoay Church, and the surrounding gardens added to the tranquil atmosphere. It was the perfect time for quiet contemplation and appreciation.

Final Thoughts

My visit to Paoay Church in Ilocos Norte was not just a trip; it was a journey back in time. It was a chance to connect with the rich history, artistry, and enduring faith of the Filipino people. Paoay Church is a place that leaves a lasting impression on your soul and fills you with a profound sense of gratitude for the preservation of our heritage.

So, if you ever find yourself in Ilocos Norte, do yourself a favor and make sure Paoay Church is on your itinerary. It's a place where the past and present seamlessly merge, leaving you with memories that will stay with you for a lifetime.

Highs and Lows take you further!

I recently saw this GIF while checking my social media and it catches my attention because aside from the explanation I read in Reddit I can relate this to my life.

1. Short distance road does not mean that it is the fastest route.

           There are people who wanted to get rich but they don't want to do sweat and take lessons the right way on how to achieve their goal so they fall into get-rich-quick schemes. They are blinded by their greed to get money quickly and easily so, in the long run, they lost the money that they have. 

            I too had an experience where I lost all the money that I have invested in a company. I invested because a friend of mine said that it was a good investment and she was earning a lot. I researched the company and did not find any negative feedback online. Although I know that the amount that they will give on our investment is soo good to be true, I go ahead because I was blinded by greed. But alas! After almost a year, the company and the people behind it are gone and also our money.  So lesson learned. 

2. The downs make it faster in going up.

          My online career is like the ball, the lower the fall, the faster it moves upward.

          There was a time where I took a full-time job as a Virtual Assistant / Facebook Ads Marketer for an Australian client. I had that job for 1.5 years. I learned a lot from it but I was stuck with that knowledge also I got bored in what I am doing. I could not resign because the pay is great.

          Later, when that Marketing agency lost most of its clients, they have to let go of staffs for the company to survive. My salary is twice bigger than the new recruits and I have trained them well, so well that they can do what I can do for the company and the management decided to let go the people whom they spent much on salary.

          When I lost that client, I also feel lost.... but after that, I decided to pull myself up again and think about what I really wanted to do. After some self-assessment, I decided that I wanted to teach.  I took the Teachers Certificate Program while taking projects from the government to train people in Rural are on how to become a freelancer. I teached my students on becoming a Virtual Assistant, Digital Marketer and e-commerce Wordpress Website creation.