Fortunate Life

Today I learned something about myself. Or maybe it is something that has been quietly growing inside me for a long time. I am becoming someone who pauses. Someone who does not let every emotion spill out the moment it arrives. Someone who chooses their response instead of letting reactions take over. It still feels a little strange to admit this, because I have never been the overly reactive type. I rarely say things I do not mean. I rarely send messages I later regret. I am usually careful, even when I am hurting. But in the past, my emotions would stir so strongly inside me that I could feel the urge to respond quickly, as if speaking immediately could save me from misunderstanding or disappointment. Those were the moments when I wished I had given myself more time to breathe, because clarity always arrives after the first wave of emotion. Stoicism teaches the value of the pause. That small moment between stimulus and response. That breath. That quiet space where the heart softens...

Today I woke up with a heaviness that I could not explain. It was not sadness exactly. It was not fear either. It was something quieter, something softer, like a fog sitting inside my chest. For a moment I almost let it decide what kind of day I would have. Almost. But I remembered something I wrote before. Something I am trying to practice, even on the days when I feel fragile. The reminder that emotions are visitors. They come, they stay for a while, and eventually they leave. They are allowed to exist, but they are not allowed to rule me. So I sat still for a bit and just observed what I was feeling. No judgment. No forcing it away. I simply said to myself, This is what my body is feeling right now, not who I am. It sounds simple, but it took me years to understand this. For so long I thought my emotions were the truth. If I felt rejected, then it meant I was not enough. If I felt anxious, it meant something bad was about to happen. If I felt lonely, it meant I was unlovable. I g...