This morning I sat with my coffee and watched the light slowly fill the room. I noticed how peaceful everything felt. Quiet. Uncomplicated. And I realized that the only time my life feels heavy is when my mind starts wrestling with things that are outside my control.
It is almost embarrassing how often I do this. I replay conversations in my head. I wonder what people are thinking about me. I try to guess outcomes. I try to shape situations that are clearly not mine to fix. I hold on to timelines that do not belong to me. And every time I do this, I lose my peace.
I am learning that there is a boundary in life. A simple invisible line. On one side are the things I can influence. My attitude. My choices. My reactions. My habits. My words. On the other side are the things that are none of my business. How people behave. What they choose to love or neglect. What they give. What they withhold. The pace of life. The unpredictability of the world.
And yet, I still find myself crossing that line, trying to grab things that are not mine to control. I think, maybe if I try harder. Maybe if I say the right words. Maybe if I show them who I am. Maybe if I wait. Maybe if I change something about myself. But life rarely works that way. People rarely work that way.
I am starting to accept that control is an illusion, and peace comes from choosing where to place my energy.
Today, I reminded myself that controlling what I can is not about shrinking or giving up. It is about coming back home to myself. It is about reclaiming the power that I scatter everywhere when I obsess over the uncontrollable.
So I made a small list.
Not a to do list.
A boundary list.
On one side I wrote:
What I cannot control.
The past. Other people. Their choices. Their reactions. The timing of things. Unexpected events. The way life rearranges itself.
On the other side I wrote:
What I can control.
My responses. My effort. My mindset. What I allow. Who I give my energy to. How I speak to myself. How I rise after setbacks. How deeply I breathe when life feels overwhelming.
Seeing it written down made everything clearer. It was like giving my mind a map. A reminder that not every door is mine to open, and not every storm is mine to calm.
I also realized how much lighter life feels when I focus on my side of the line. When I stop chasing outcomes and start tending to myself. When I focus on my thoughts and my habits instead of predicting the actions of others. When I stop trying to be the hero in every situation and instead become the caretaker of my own inner world.
Throughout the day, whenever my mind drifted toward worry, I gently guided it back. I asked myself, Can I control this. If the answer was no, I let it go. Maybe not perfectly, but honestly.
By the end of the day, I felt calmer, more grounded. There is so much peace in letting life be what it is while I work on who I am. There is strength in choosing clarity over chaos. There is freedom in no longer fighting battles that were never mine.
Control is not about holding on. It is about knowing what to hold on to.
And today, I chose to hold on to myself.
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