I do not do these things out of weakness. I do them because I care deeply. I pay attention. I value harmony. I want connections to feel safe, warm, and steady. But sometimes, in my effort to be gentle to others, I forget to be gentle to myself.
The Stoics teach that we should guard our inner peace the way we guard something priceless. They remind us that the world will always have noise, expectations, and opinions, but our inner self is something we can always return to. Today I thought about that. How many times have I abandoned myself just to be understood. How many times have I minimized my own feelings just so someone else would feel comfortable.
It is a quiet kind of exhaustion. The kind that does not show up on the outside. But you feel it. You really feel it when you sit alone at night.
Today, I chose to return to myself. Not in a dramatic way. Just a gentle way. A way that sounds like, “What do I truly feel,” and “What do I really need,” and “Is this choice honoring me or hurting me.”
I sat with myself for a while this morning. I asked myself why I sometimes forget to listen to my own voice. I realized it is because I worry about losing people. I worry about being misunderstood. I worry about disappointing others. But then I remembered something important. Losing myself is the biggest loss of all. And returning to myself is something I should never apologize for.
So today, I slowed down. I paid attention to my thoughts. I watched them without judging them. I acknowledged the ones that were heavy. I released the ones that did not belong to me. I reminded myself that my feelings do not need permission to exist. They are mine. And they deserve space.
I also reminded myself that genuine people will never require me to shrink to be loved. They will never ask me to silence my truth so they can stay comfortable. They will meet me where I am, with respect and clarity. They will not walk away just because I finally chose myself.
Returning to myself felt like coming home after a long trip. Familiar. Warm. Right. I felt my shoulders drop. I felt my breathing soften. There was a kind of peace in saying, “I am here. I am listening. I am choosing me today.”
I know I will drift away again. It happens. Life pulls us in different directions. People come with their expectations. Situations demand our energy. But what matters is this: as long as I can return to myself, I am safe. I am whole. I am grounded.
So tonight, I end the day with gratitude. Gratitude for the reminder. Gratitude for the gentle return. Gratitude for the voice inside me that never stopped calling me back.
Today I remembered myself. And that is enough.
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